I am a tired black man, and here is why?
I am tired you all, I really am. Every day when I wake up, I wonder is today the day, that because of my black skin, my demeanor, my actions or my words, will I be next. Will I be the next George Floyd, Philando Castile, Eric Garner, Oscar Grant or Walter Scott? Will today be the day that my 18 yr old son becomes the next Travon Martin, Ahmaud Arbery, Tamir Rice, Henry Green, Tyre King, Jordan Davis or Mike Brown. Will my wife, sister and my daughters become the next Sandra Bland, Breonna Taylor or Korryn Gaines. These are just a few but by now you get the message. See it is easy for me to walk around in my Navy uniform, get the proverbial “Thank you for your service” from everyone, but what happens when I got on my Jordan’s and sweats, my earrings and my gold necklaces? Same person different clothes, which means it could very well be a different outcome.
I am tired you all, I really am. Tired of folks telling me to stop making everything about race. Tired of folks telling me to just vote and things will change. I been on this earth for almost 42 years and I have to ask when is this change suppose to happen? I have had my fair share of encounters with police. My first encounter happened when I was only 12 yrs old, coming home from baseball practice. I was thrown to the ground, slam against a car and put in the back of a police car. Reasons, I fit the description of a black male wearing a green hoodie that was wanted for stealing a car. After being harassed for a hour, they realize the person they were looking for was 6 ft tall, even today I only stand 5’6 and I was a 12 yr old kid? I was scared for my life, fast forward to my teen years during the height of the War on Drugs, my friends and I were constantly getting harassed by the police. All of us were good students, honor roll, doing the right thing as society had told us to, yet our black skin made us SUPER-PREDATORS. What if one of us would have gotten pissed and said something that one of them deemed disrespectful, would we be on the front of a T-shirt?
I am tired you all, I really am. Tired of trying to convince my white co-workers that white privilege exist. Tired of hearing, why didn’t they just do what the officer told them to do? Tired of seeing cops being called on black folks for doing their job, trying to walk their dog, take pictures, enter their apartment complex, swim in a pool or have a bbq at the park. Tired of being one of or the only black person in the room, yet also being looked at as if I don’t belong. Tired of being asked, you got a Master’s degree? You must be really smart. As if, because of my black skin I am not suppose to be educated. Tired of riding in my car, see a cop get behind me and get nervous as hell, even though I am obeying the law. Tired of seeing black men and women murdered on video and then have the media indict them for their own murders. Tired of hearing that ALL LIVES MATTER. Tired of hearing folks talk about Black on Black crime, when we know that violence against your own kind is the most common because of proximity to living near them. Tired of folks saying well they got arrested and then there is no conviction. And I am definitely tired of people telling me that Colin Kaepernick should have not TAKEN A KNEE!!!
So, what am I supposed to do? Sit idly by and not say anything because I have a career? Not say anything, because I may offend the very people who are too cowardly to speak up? Not say anything, because no one in the room wants to discuss what is going on, and remain A-political? Not say anything, because some may feel that this is not the right place or the right time? America is on fire and no one seems to give a DAMN!!!
How many more times do black people have to march around the country, shouting BLACK LIVES MATTER, NO JUSTICE NO PEACE before something actually is done? How many more videos have to be released before our politicians finally take actions to change things? How many more innocent black men have to be released from prison and tax payers foot the bill for a settlement because of wrongful convictions? How many more black men and women have to be killed unarmed, before justice is finally served?
This is not a left-wing vs right-wing problem, not a liberal vs conservative problem, not a Democrat vs Republican problem, this is AMERICA’s problem and we have to fix it. Because at the end of the day, I am just TIRED of it.
